maybe everyone would benefit from not reading this one..heh
Right now I'm really, really, angry. More upset than angry, but rage seems to be my way of dealing with things. It's what makes me who I am and everyone else either baffled or scared. If I go into why I'm so disgruntled (when I say that word, don't you imagine a wild boar?)it will cause uneccessary tension, because sometimes I guess I shouldn't say what is on my mind. Keep everything inside and read books to stop thinking. As long as everyone else is fine. You know. Because that's the important thing...

I would love to have someone who's not extremely involved in my past to talk to who wouldn't turn it around and make it about them, or make me feel bad for what I say. I used to have that with several people. Now I do every once in a while, but it doesn't make me feel stable, like I have someone to count on. I still love them dearly, but I can't say everything anymore.

Scog is my hero for making me those cd's. I don't think he realizes how great it is to not have to waste 20 bucks or do anything compuer-wise myself. He doesn't deserve to ever be hurt. Somehow I feel he will even if it isn't intentional.

Ever see America's Sweethearts? I feel like Julia Robert's character. Man. And then when I realize shit is wrong and speak up, I don't exactly get the guy I'm in love with or everyone's respect. Heh. Oh. Boy. This is a very complaining entry. Difference between me and Julia? (besides the obvious..der)I'm awaiting my happy ending/beginning.

However, I'm strangely content for all my negativeness. Maybe it's cause I get to listen to Elton John and get some sleep.

Wow. Last week this time I was afraid of passing out and not waking up. Much better today. :)

yeah. i'm a tad bit self-absorbed. But I don't show up at parties with no shirt on and then show everyone my boobs.

I. Can't. Stand. The majority of girls. in my grade. Or at all. There's about maybe 15 exceptions on this entire planet.

See. Dammit. I'm just angry.

Posted by Maleta at 10:41 p.m.