my first saturday off ever.
I know everyone doesn't want to hear about every single one of my dreams. But last night, since I actually had the oppurtunity to finish one, my dream sort of helped me realize things. But not really. I was in this huge Victorian mansion, only wanting to be with the one person who I care about, but I got in a fight about it and I had to hide in a bathroom the size of my entire first floor. Then we were finally alone and we had this conversation, that was very important in the dream, but I can't remember a word about it. And now that I think about it, it doesn't make sense and I can't even remember the ending. SO. never mind. Sorry for that waste of time.

Writing in this thing for so long has made me care less and less about proper punctuation and general syntax. Oh well. I don't write much of anything else anyway.

I want to say so much but there isn't any way that I can. It's as simple as that.

I was cleaning out certain parts of my room, and going through shoeboxes full of notes, and general things like that. I came across certain e-mails that I had printed out and a note or story or two and I guess I realize things can never be like they were when I got those. No matter how much I want them to be. So I have to kick myself in the head and stop wanting.

Yeah. What a good plan..?

I guess it's normal to hold onto the past when there's a lack of events going on in your present. However, it's hard to let go if you feel no sense of closure of that time in your life. It's basically impossible. That's what's been tricky.

Tilley helped me realize that basically music and movies are everything and that's what makes life good. The unreal. Yeah.

Posted by Maleta at 11:28 p.m.