march 13,2003
gargle!
It's amazing how one day can drastically change back and forth from being great to awful. I was convinced that I lost my purse today. It must have been stolen, I said, because I couldn't possibly be stupid enough to leave it somewhere! Oh, but I am. I don't deal with things very well when there is more than one problem in my life. It seems to just envelop my mind and make me worry and worry some more and imagine all the bad things that CAN happen in one's life. Then I wind up wanting to beat myself up about stuff I can't change and wind up taking it out on my mother. And telling everyone I fucking run into about my problems. But I mean, it's their fault, they ask what's up..

Turns out I did leave the purse somewhere and it was safely returned to me. I then hugged it. Eleanor passed her driving test, my purse was returned, oh happy day!! Then I've got this massively important psychology report due tomorrow and I just can't do it tonight, and I'm staying home tomorrow which is good. But this makes me wonder how I'll ever get through college if I can't handle a freakin report like that. But it's good to be irresponsible once in a while because being anal retentive is no fun either I imagine.

Now that I've bored you all to death with my petty non-problems, I will write about the conclusion of my day. Work of course drains energy, but I was with Matt and afterwards he suprised me in a very interesting way and he is amazing. I've never felt this way about anyone, and I even told him this and it made him happy, not scared.

My personality is such a crazy blend of both my parents' and some outside source that there is so much friction between us. I love my father's logical side, but he asks so many questions (like I do, too) and can't wait for someone to think of a response. I hate the questions, but I'm the same way with asking them because if people hesitate to answer them I get annoyed. Personality traits intrigue me. I need sleep. OH MAN DO I NEED SLEEP. goodnight all the people..all three of you..who read this. I love you!

Posted by Maleta at 10:52 p.m.