face the fact that I am neurotic
Something that has become a huge part of your life all of the sudden should not be able to be taken away from you just as suddenly. I love this. I want this to stay. I don't want him to go away for a year! I don't want it to split us up. I want him to go because it's what he wants to do and it will get him going somewhere in life, but there is that little selfish part of me screaming that if I can't deal with being apart for a few days, how will I handle weeks at a time? I at least thought we'd have the summer together, but now we have until the beginning of July if he winds up going. Those are all the panic stricken thoughts of the evening. How would I even begin to get my parents to let me go visit him for a couple of days? Would they even consider it? How is it going to work? It has to, though. There are positive sides to it, too. We get to each figure out what we really want, we have more varied locations giving us more things to do and experiences to be had. Am I being naive thinking that it could last? Will he fall in love with someone else? Not even that, would he just need to be with someone that he would cheat on me, not because he stopped loving me, but because I'm not there? Would I face those same situations?

Writing this all out has helped me realize one thing; there is no way to tell any of this now, we just have to enjoy what we have now because it is amazing.

Posted by Maleta at 12:40 a.m.