I have spent so much time with people over the past 4 years of my life that I cannot write off high school as meaningless and blah,blah,blah. These years have had a major effect on my life. My friends have all, as well. The ones I see daily and the ones I see yearly. The ones that are mad at me, and vice versa, as well. I love every one of them and hope the very best. I say horrible things about people close to me, but do I mean them? Not really. I just am crazy like that. I must mention key people in my life at this moment.
Eleanor. This girl I've known forever. We grow together and grow apart and then grow together again. I think at times that we are no good for each other, but no matter what anger there is, I always wind up thinking about her. She has had a huge impact on my life. She is not a bad person, even though I try to make myself believe that, so I'm not as hurt by us not being so close anymore. I hope things will remedy themselves as they have in the past.
Kacy. If she were not here, I would have probably not gotten through senior year so happily/sanely. She listens to EVERY LITTLE neurotic detail of my life and I listen to whatever she is willing to tell me about hers. I am interested in her. I care about her. I want to know her forever. She is the person who made me realize it is ok to disagree with the people you love.
Freda. Who knew I would ever be friends with her? We began just hanging out in chorus because of the lack of better options. She's going to Rutgers in the fall with me, I hope to spend some time hanging out in her dorm room since I will still be living here at home with Mom and Dad.
Doug. I knew him since art during freshman year. I would talk to him about everything, even though he most likely didnt care to hear everything. There were hurt feelings after an 'incident' but we've become friends and he makes me laugh like no one else. He is genuinely nice and good at heart.
Scog. Made me more adament about speaking out about causes. He aided my insane tendencies when I was having some trouble with life. We had movie sessions and junk food nights, and he is probably the only guy I have ever had an entirely plutonic friendship with. What a guy. WHAT A GUY!
Dan Sal. Was I ever really in love with him? I may never know. It was probably love. In a friendship way. I tried to get myself to make it more because it would have been perfect, bit it was not meant to be. He deserves to be happy, and I hope he one day is.
Ross. He and I had fun together. Smart, witty, honest, mean..man. What an interesting package.
Tilley! He gets his name in this title of my diary. Depressed, but who isn't nowadays? TILLEY. My hero. Like no other. Wow.
Karen. Her and I have had some crazy fun times at Dunkin Donuts talking about everything and discussing music and movies. She is on a whole different wavelength from anyone else I know, which makes her all the more cool. We don't talk much, but I have a feeling I'll be seeing her again one of these days.
Now on to people whe cross my path every day starting recently.
Matt. The first boy I feel that I am truly in love with. He has made my life so blissfull that I have had no depressing thoughts to write about in here, hence my absence. Amazing how one person can alter your life so much so soon. There are so many things to say about him that I could write a whole entry on him, and I think I'll save that for another day. He is that boy at work I infrequently mentioned throughout this diary. He was on my mind, whether it was in the back of it or not, for quite a while.
Kristin. She is my art therapist. Well, she's in art with me and she listens to me and gives me advice as I do her, and she will be living at home for college too. She works at the local A&P. She is funny. When she talks I don't have to give her a fake laugh, because she is genuinely amusing.
My brother, Brian. He is not new to my life of course, but he is newly gracing my presence in positive way. I don't hate him anymore! Yay! He's funny, intelligent, and understands me like no other since he has the same origins.
There are also some guys at work who have in one way or another entered my life and I will never forget eithe rone of them. First off, I'll mention Kevin. He is a guy who I hate when he's not around. When he is around, I have to just like him so damn much because he's just such a unique person. He may be out of my life very soon, but his outlook on life will still be vivid in my mind.
Also there is Mike. He is a manager. A 23 year old male version of myself. Funny. Not always happy, which makes him real. He is so nice and seemingly innocent that I just want to hug him all the time because he's so darn cool.
I actually made friendly, civil contact with Bob today. The boy who I regretably lost my virginity to, but can't really blame for that event. We are such different people. But at least my grudge has dissipated and I don't have to feel so angry at myself for that folly of my teenage years.
I can write so much more. Sorry to write such an 'end of an era' type entry. I've just been evaluating things recently.
Posted by Maleta at 11:38 p.m.