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I have to recapture some of the old me. The old me that was content to do nothing by myself and just watch bad movie after bad movie. The only time I want to do that now is when I know I can't. Work is slightly hindering me from enjoying my summer and having an important boyfriend is hindering me from enjoying my alone time because DAMMIT thoughts of him just won't leave my mind. This is a good thing, sure, but I want my sanity back as well.

I will briefly outline my past few days; yesterday I went to the beach with my mom, brother, and Kacy. It was a beautiful day. The water was nice. I happilly got a tan. I came home, took a shower, and went to the mall to meet up with my friend/manager Mike to help him buy shoes. He didn't find any because his feet are enormous. I, however, wasted money on a shirt and new cd. We went into the movie store, the store I used to visit on a weekly basis, but haven't been to in such a long time. So all in all a nice day. But. Every time my mind was idle it wandered over to Matt and I was convinced that because he didn't call me last night he was going to break up with me. What the fuck is wrong with me, guys??? WHAT? I can't enjoy an afternoon anymore? AAAH! And then because it's all I can think about, it's all I can talk about, and who likes that? No one wants to listen to my psychotic rants.

I have to change that. I woke up this morning intent upon enjoying some alone time this evening, and that is just what I'll do. So far, I already am. Releasing stress by writing and hoping that somebody will relate. ANYBODY. I just need to know that I'm not alone in my insanity.

My to do list for tomorrow before work at 2:30 is as following:

1) clean room so I can see floor again.

2) clean car and rid it of all the unidentifiable sticky puddles in the cupholders.

3) read and enjoy my summer day of no school.

4) write thank you notes for all of the graduation checks. mail them as well.

I am off! Thanks for caring. Or at least looking.

Posted by Maleta at 9:15 p.m.