yeah yeah. you've heard it before.
I am obviously not the first to recognize this, but fall weather is more nostalgic than even the smell of your favorite meal from childhood. I had an hour alone today at school, where I found myself sitting under some statue of a guy I've never heard of, and I just read a book and watched the fat squirrels run around. I started to remember all of the things that occured to me during fall of recent (and not so recent) years. I used to play with the basketball out front (when there was a net) and I told myself that if the ball went in, then Keven Adleman liked me. This was 5th, 6th and 7th grade, when I had a crush on this boy for "God" only knows what reason. 8th grade came and went with numerous walks with Eleanor and sometimes Kacy around Woodbridge, sitting on walls, discussing our mundane little lives, and then high school entered and shattered our close minded little environment. 9th grade was spent searching for the fun we used to find in doing nothing. Halloween was spent walking around with a group of guys, one of which titled my friend Nicole and I as his "hoes" and tried to sell us to teenage guys out front of Dunkin Donuts for a dollar a kiss. Oh the dreams of being a pimp! Lucky for me, he soon abandoned (or did he?) these ideals. Either way, I hope he knows it will always be in my mind representing what a crazy, but great, nutcase he was and always will be.

The fall and winter of 10th grade was truly fun and scary all at once. I began hanging out in the woods at night with a few guys getting high and then walking around the mall. This year was the year that I was invovled with another infatuation, this time actually getting to kiss him (we all remember TJ) even though he had no interest in me. I then wound up dating his best friend. 15 year old girls are weird. That year I believe I also flashed a whole bunch of people at a football game. Hmm. I hope I've grown up just a tad since then. I don't think one year will ever go by for me when I don't remember these things when the weather gets colder.

I've probably wrote about these things time and time again in here, but they are what I consider the only "teenage-like" things I really experienced. Everything else was either residue from childhood or crap on my road to becomming a - gasp! - grown up. That is something I hope to never fully become.

So tired.So extremely tired. Goodnight.

Posted by Maleta at 10:44 p.m.