where am i going?
After running into money problems repeatedly for the past few years, I've decided one thing about gift giving and receiving. This year will be all about birthdays. However, I can't see myself managing Christmas gifts as well, so I guess you guys can breathe a sigh of relief as I am relieving you of any Christmas obligations towards me (all two of you...eleanor and kacy!) but fear not, I won't forget your wonderful 18th birthdays, as you have so kindly not forgotten mine. I hope you guys don't mind, but I don't have the money for Christmas as well.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with this problem.

Also, I can't get into the whole college thing. I don't know where the hell it's going to take me, hell I don't even know where I want it to take me, so I find myself lacking much motivation to do well. It really fucking pisses me off that almost everyone else has some idea as to what direction their heading in and can find this all full of wonderful experiences, blah,blah,blah, but college is just college. I want it to be over so I can get on with whatever life I'm supposed to have. What will the people who live for college do once it's over? These girls who strive to do everything perfectly but will probably wind up with a similar job to my own and I truly couldn't give two fucks. Instead of studying and reading and doing homework, I come home and watch episodes of Felicity on DVD, read books that have no relation to school, and basically continue on with my summer time practices. Maybe one day I'll wake up inspired, but until then, college is only a "day job" that I feel like I am doing to simply appease my parents' wishes. Blah. It's all so mainstream and dull. The only thing I look forward to in school is the lunch breaks with my brother and Doug and occasionally Eleanor and random people such as Artem. Everything else can just kiss my ass.

Posted by Maleta at 10:47 p.m.